In between.

The Five Minute Friday “word” this past Friday was in between.  Though I didn’t get to participate on the actual day, these two words have been on my mind since I read them.

There’s something about the month of June that has a lot of in between-ness.

We’re coming off a hard ten months of school and entering into the freedom that summer vacation brings.  As a parent it’s hard to find the middle ground of wanting my child to just be able to relax and not stress about anything while knowing he does need some sort of structure and to actually continue to read books and do math worksheets much to his dismay.  I think back to my own childhood of no chores, reading books, watching as much TV as I wanted, and staying up into the wee hours of the night.  It was fun and I want my boy to have a taste of it without being consumed by it.

I’m also in the middle ground of establishing guidelines for myself.  It’s easy to commit to taking care of my home and errands when I’m home alone during the day.  But now that little boy is with me and needs my attention too.  It’s the in between of wanting to devote my time to the things I do ten months of the year and knowing I need to put it all away to just be with him.

Which leads me to the most in between feelings of all: this blog.  I’ve taken yet another step back as I try to really, I mean really, think about what it is exactly I want to write about.  My heart says be transparent, but where’s the line?  My heart wants to write {mainly} about mothering and all that goes into it, but how do I protect my son in the process?  What are the things he would be comfortable reading about his childhood when he’s older?  On top of that is the pull to write about other passions I’ve let simmer in my soul for too long, but I know it will require work.  Work and time that I’m not sure yet I want to devote.  My time is precious to me and while I have so many ideas pounding in my head and in my heart, things that I think would be really good to share, I guess I’m afraid of where it could lead.  My stronghold on time and belief in never being away from my boys leaves me in a constant state of flux.  Wondering which are the right choices; which are the ones that can be tucked away for just a bit more.  It all leads me to know I need to loosen my grip anyway and give it to the One who will lead me to the path I should follow.  When I have that peace, then I’ll know.

This post did not take five minutes.  It took however long since the last post.  I want to make that dream of being able to say I’m a writer come true.  It may take me longer than others to get there.  But I will.

I’m somewhere in between.  And that somewhere is filled with a lot of hope.  And mostly a lot of snuggles from the most gorgeous little boy I know.

abe

{via Pinterest}

*This is a paraphrased quote attributed to Mr. Lincoln from a letter he wrote.  Still love it.

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4 thoughts on “In between.

  1. Love you inbetweens, I’m not a mum, but have many friends who are, motherhood turns everything upside down, never thought about the routines that get messed up when the kids are home, but love that you prioritise to ‘just be with your son’. I saw something on twitter that I think will encourage you…”Christine Caine tweets – Don’t put a due date on something, God is going to deliver in due season” If God’s given you the dream to write, he will deliver it at the right time. Xx

    • Thank you for taking the time to comment and for your sweet and encouraging comments. I apologize it took me so long to respond. Love the quote! Thanks for sharing. ❤

  2. I love this. I was just thinking today (but didn’t write about it in my blog) that summer is perhaps the most in-between season of all. It is for me right now, too, because we are home from Africa for three months…but then, where is home?

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