When your husband hears your heart.

One of my biggest problems with blogging is writing these words: I’ll write a post about this later.

And then I never do.  I’ll publish a post and within it mention another topic for a post that should be forthcoming and that has equated to many “Part Twos” or “more to comes”  that never happened.

Sometimes it’s easy to forget about it because you think to yourself, Who noticed that anyway?  Days and weeks and months can pass and it doesn’t seem worth it to revisit a thought you had long ago.

So I was pleasantly surprised when someone found my blog through a shared link (thanks!) and must have went back and read past entries because they asked the question, What did you get for Mother’s Day?

I had to laugh.  It was in reference to this post and within that post I wrote these words:

I had a wonderful Mother’s Day yesterday.  The boys left early to church and I awoke to a card.  Inside was such a special surprise and I’ll share about that next week!  What I can say about the gift is that it showed me how much my husband listens to me.  And that’s why I burst into tears as I saw the gift and read beautiful words.

I do not know why I did not come back and share.  Time sure does slip away.  But I’m here both to answer the question of the gift for “just because” reasons but also to share an important attribute of marriage.

First, the gift.

The Lion King on Broadway!  Hubby took me and the boy to see this amazingly fantastic show.

We enjoyed a nice lunch first at Chevy’s.  It was funny because that restaurant (in Times Square) was our go-to spot when we were dating, so it was weird to take our son there more than a decade later.

Mmm…fried ice cream.

We headed inside the theatre…

and were treated to a show we’ll never forget.

Seriously, go see it.  It’s worth the money to have that experience.  I’ve always heard people remark it’s one of the best shows on Broadway and having seen many, I have to agree.  Spectacular.

So what does this have to do with a husband that listens?

Well, I don’t know when it was.  Could have been weeks, months, or maybe years before that I mentioned how much I would love to see this show.  I knew the expense of it, so it was one of those “bucket list” dreams.  An avid Broadway lover, it would certainly be my goal to see every show on and off Broadway if I could.  But The Lion King was certainly at the top of my list.  I’m sure I mentioned it every now and then; you know, when for some random reason we happen to mention Broadway and get on the topic.  But that conversation was long out of my mind when I opened that card that Mother’s Day morning and saw tickets that answered a mini-dream and reminded me that my husband is always listening.

Even when I don’t think he is.

I write a lot about my thoughts on motherhood in this space.  I have a ton of folders on my computer with organization photos just waiting to be pieced together into a post.  But when it comes to marriage, I often struggle to find the words.  For one, it seems very personal.  I feel like I’d have to constantly “check-in” with the hubby to see if something was okay to write about and share and that can limit the “freeness” of the writing process.

But if I were to be completely honest it would be because most days I struggle more than I succeed in my marriage and therefore feel inept to offer any input into the subject, good or bad.

So what I can offer you now is an encouragement.  That if your husband is anything like mine, he is listening.  He hears your thoughts, your dreams, and what will make you happy.  And when the time is right, he will act on those things you one day long ago may have whispered–or, like that one year where I wrote in an email exactly what I wanted for Mother’s Day–and surprise you with the opportunity to live out those little dreams you shared.

It’s easy to believe the lie that your husband doesn’t care.  I say a lot of things and I know my {poor} husband has a lot to filter through.  I can be silly and a bit spoiled and want every new electronic that comes out.  I can imagine it being confusing to have to process and decipher, What in the world is she serious about and what is she joking about? Ha!  Broadway shows are certainly not important to my husband, so it’s easy to think that even when I share with him how I’d love to see a show that because he doesn’t care about that…that it must mean he doesn’t care about me.  No way!  Not the same thing at all.  And even if he did not get those tickets, it still wouldn’t mean he did not care.  That’s an evil thought that creeps into our minds when Satan seeks to destroy marriages.  I threw this paragraph in as an afterthought after I had already hit publish.  I feel it’s going in a tangent that really needs to be explored more one day.

It’s not about the gift.  It was lovely and special and we all benefited from the time together for sure.  But it was really about the moment I opened that card and saw a husband who remembered something I told him.  And that means all the world.

He hears and is becoming familiar with the heart of his wife who isn’t as much into gifts as much as she into experiences.  I’d rather have memories than a ring on my finger.  Photos than a new appliance.  He’s learning.  We’re growing.  Marriage is hard but beautiful, but when two people are committed to working at it together there will be success.

It reminds me to take the time to listen.  Not in order to buy him the perfect gift when the time comes, but because that’s an important part of marriage.

I look back on almost ten (10!#$?) years of marriage and wish I had listened more.

But no time is wasted moving forward when you’re willing to make the changes needed for your marriage.  Whether it’s listening more, talking more, being together more, or whatever it is your spouse and you need to do.

So that’s why I burst into tears that morning and probably will every Mother’s Day, birthday, or anniversary because hubby sure knows how to knock it out of the park with the words he writes on the perfect cards he finds and the experiences he allows me to have.

He’s listening and I’m encouraged to listen better because of it.

Feel free to share with me: Do you need to listen more in your marriage (or any other relationship)?  What’s the best present your spouse has ever given you?

Striving to be better in my marriage for the glory of God alone,

Lis. ❤